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One of the biggest problems in marriages is that it's hard to remain together through thick and thin despite your marriage vows. Besides common reasons for divorce like infidelity, one of the greatest contributors to divorce is when a couple grows apart rather than together. At a certain point in their relationship, they may realize that they have little in common with each other. Here are eight senior dating tips to consider if you’re planning to date after a divorce.
1. Wait until your divorce is legally completed before dating.
For people who want to date again, the legal requirements of a divorce may seem like an obstacle in their way. However, it’s better to date after all the legalities around a divorce have been settled to avoid any legal complications arising from dating while you are still considered married under the law. Don’t be in a rush to move on with your life.
2. Trust your intuition when dating after a divorce.
While divorce is an emotionally draining experience, that doesn’t mean you have to let your guard down when you date again. Instead, take the time to get to know your dates well by spending quality time together without making any commitments about a long-term relationship just because you are in a hurry to put the pain of your divorce behind you.
3. Avoid idealistic expectations when you date again.
You should not expect your dates to be perfect all the time. After a divorce, you will need to rethink your ideals about what to expect in a relationship. It can be naïve and unrealistic to simply assume that you will find someone who will be perfect for you again. It's wiser to work on yourself and see if there are other people out there who are a good match for your interests.
4. Don't let your date’s surface charm dazzle you.
Your dating strategy after a divorce has to be slow and methodical. You shouldn't settle for someone who is just good-looking or has similar values as yours. You have to look a little deeper to find out more about their weaknesses and strengths to see if they are likely to change after they begin to feel more comfortable with the relationship.
5. Recognize your own priorities in a relationship.
While meeting someone new, you have to be able to clearly distinguish what you want from what they want. You can do this by asking yourself: What are my priorities in a relationship? If your priorities are not clear, it is likely that the relationship will not last very long. So, it is important to be able to clearly identify your priorities and goals in a relationship. If you aren't sure, then don’t date the wrong person or waste time getting involved with someone who doesn’t really interest you.
6. Stay honest about your past with yourself when dating after a divorce.
While you might not be able to heal the past, you can definitely do your best to prevent it from recurring similarly in your future. People who have been through a divorce or are in the middle of one now have more freedom for self-determination and personal growth. When you are dating after a divorce, it is important to stay honest about your past with yourself. Otherwise, you might end up marrying the same type of person who you just divorced. Human beings often repeat subconscious psychological patterns to correct mistakes made in the past.
7. Understand how the world of online dating works before trying it.
There are many reasons for people to be cautious about online dating after a divorce, but the biggest one is deception. Many people on senior dating sites create idealistic online personas, representing themselves as they would like to be rather than how they really are. For instance, they may use photoshopped pictures of themselves or post pictures that were taken when they were younger and happier. They may also write embellished self-descriptions hoping to appear more attractive to people reading their profiles. While these deceptive practices are not always the case, it is good to be aware of this aspect of online dating.
8. Don’t forget about your personal growth when dating.
You should focus on your personal growth during this phase of your life rather than only focusing on meeting the “right” person. The last thing you want to do is compromise on your personal growth just to get over the emotional pain of loneliness. Remember, it’s possible to be fully yourself and to find someone who appreciates you just as you are.
These are just a few precautions to take when you date after a divorce. Recognize that senior dating can be a challenge, so be patient as you try to find the right person. Consider any mistakes in judgment you make as lessons to learn rather than a reason to stop dating because you’re frustrated at meeting all the wrong people.
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