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Finding yourself single again at this stage of life was not in the plan. Even so, there’s no need to worry too much. There are plenty of other people in the same boat. All you have to do now is find someone who you can date and maybe even build a life with. Since quite a bit has changed since you were last in the dating game, here are some tips that will help you get back into the swing of things.
Taking Stock of Yourself
You’re not the same person that you were in high school and college. Thanks to the places you’ve been, the people you’ve met, and the things you’ve done, your worldview is very different now. Some of your interests and hobbies have changed.
Because you are not the same person that you were way back when, the type of love interest that is right for you is likely not the same. Before you set out to find someone to date and possibly more, spend some time making an inventory of what you want and what you have to offer. As you go through this process, it’ll be easier to understand that the fact you are no longer 25 does not mean you lack the charm, the looks, and the qualities that someone else will appreciate.
Forgetting the Old Moves
Back in the day, you had some moves and lines that seemed to work every time. Maybe they did work, at least in terms of amusing the object of your attention enough for them to give you a shot. In any case, those old approaches will not do much for you now.
At this point in life, there’s no need to try to present yourself as anything other than what you happen to be. That means no pretending to be in a line of work that is different from your own. Forget about trying to impress someone by saying you’ve seen or done something that is completely foreign to your experience. Base your new approach on honesty and let the cards fall where they may.
Time for Some New Clothes
Clothes aren’t all there is to attracting someone to date, but they help. Take a good look at your wardrobe. If the last time you bought a suit was sometime in the Eighties, the time has come for a change. Keep in mind that you are not trying to dress like someone fresh out of college, but you do need to update to a look that brings out your best attributes. If navy blue never looked good on you thanks to the color of your hair, you may find that today it flatters that steel gray pate you are now sporting.
Signing Up for a Dating Site
There was no such thing as a dating site when you were playing the field. In fact, the World Wide Web at that point was something that only connected a few universities. While you may think that online dating is the equivalent of signing up with a computer dating service back in the late Seventies, it’s actually a lot more fun.
The right dating site allows you to connect with singles in your area. You have the option of uploading recent photographs, providing some basic information about yourself, and share what sort of person you would like to meet.
When it comes to sharing information, keep it honest but don’t reveal too much. Your goal is to provide enough information for others to get any idea of what you are all about, but not enough to know where you live, where you work, and what hours you keep. All that can be shared when and if you decide to meet someone face to face.
Your First Date
Once you do come across someone and the first date is set, keep it simple. Both of you are likely a little nervous, so opt for something that is fun and gives the two of you time to get to know one another better. That old fashioned dinner and a movie is still a good approach. If all goes well, the second date can include some activity that is built around a common hobby or interest.
The fact that you’re older does not mean finding someone to date will be hard. All it means is that you need to relax, be yourself, and make use of the resources at hand. It won’t be long before you find someone interesting and have the chance to embark on a whole new chapter in your life.
Photo: (c) Robert Kneschke /fotolia.com