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There are quite a few things to consider before moving in together that help make the move a lasting and beneficial choice. For older couples and senior citizens, while the economic factor may be the main motivation, it is important to know the specific status of the relationship before coming to this significant decision.
An honest and open discussion of each individual's reason for their desire to move in together should be done before moving day. A frank conversation of the couple's expectations of what a move would achieve is also an important topic for pre-move discussion.
1. Personal levels of tolerance
While romance may be a major reason for moving in together, there are personal aspects to consider as well. A couple planning to move in together should have a fairly developed relationship and the move should be predicated by a desire for a future together.
Both individuals should possess a tolerant nature so personal habits do not erode the relationship and make moving in together short-lived. Often, personal habits seem to glare when two people spend a lot of time together. Check your tolerance level before the move.
Personal habits like humming to oneself might be soothing to one individual and annoying to another. Indecision is another personal habit that is a cause of intolerance. Other habits are leaving wet towels on a bathroom floor, forgetting to replace the cap on toothpaste or leaving a sink full of shaving cream and whiskers.
2. Lifestyle Compatibility
A couple should have more than romantic compatibility in order for moving in together to be beneficial to both parties. This is especially essential in the relationships of older couples.
If the move is a drastic lifestyle change for one individual, problems may erupt that make the decision to move in together less feasible.
Older individuals tend to be set in their daily routines. If these differ radically between two people and they cannot reach a level of tolerance and patience, moving in together may not be a good choice. Both individuals should be wide-eyed and willing to adapt to each other's needs.
For example, it may be necessary to work out arrangements for one individual whose lifestyle is sedentary and the other individual's is hyperactive. There should be a common ground from which both persons can work together for a balanced lifestyle.
3. Shared Interests
It is highly unlikely even the most loving, romantic couples can ignore the lack of shared interests. Each person should be able to enjoy their favorite interests so long as they also take part in a common interest. Common interests for older couples may be travel, hobbies or sports. The idea of sharing common interests is to keep the relationship lively and proactive.
4. Disruptions to Jobs
Today's boomers are less apt to retire early than in previous generations. Thus, moving in together can mean disruptions to jobs seniors depend on for income.
If one person works full time while the other is retired, the time spent apart on a daily basis should be discussed. A romantic relationship that results in moving in together should not pose any disruptions to either individual's jobs.
5. Disruptions to Family Relationships
When older couples have adult children and grandchildren, they need to consider the effect of moving in together will have on family relationships. There needs to be sufficient space between the couple so family events and gatherings do not collide.
6. Location of the Move
The distance from work or family is a consideration when the location of the new home is a factor. Choose a location that will not require additional travel time to a job or to visit with family.
7. Sharing Expenses
This is a big consideration that should never be left to chance. The couple should decide before they move in together how expenses will be shared such as the cost of utilities, food and other expenses, and unexpected medical expenses. Also, discuss legal authorization for medical or hospital treatment should the need arise.
8. Assets Distribution
When both individuals own personal real estate or other assets such as retirement funds and insurance policies this should also be considered in the event of one or both individuals expiring. If uncertain of how to resolve these issues, consult a will and estate attorney.
When all ten issues are considered before moving in together, a couple may find they have made the right decision and enjoy the companionship they hoped for.
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