Bring to the table. wow. This line was said to me a few months ago and it really made me think. In fact, it has me avoiding dating at all for now. Three years ago I was diagnosed with stage 4 non hodgkins lymphoma. It cost me all of my rsp's, my business, my apartment and all the furnishings in it. Prior to marriage I had a successful career and was driven, as a legal secretary. I stayed home for 19 years to raise my children and then went back to college but have never really been able to get back a career. I've made enough to support myself but not enough to take trips and buy another house, etc. I have no pension, no health benefits.
So, I am healthy. I just had yet another six month check up and am amazing. That's another story. A miracle that I am so healthy but I'm a Reiki Master and attribute some of my health now to that. However, I gave away everything. Except for photos and pictures my children had made when they were little. I dropped 35 lbs during cancer and gave away my clothing. I was dying. But hell. I didn't lol. Here I am now working as a full time condo housekeeper. It's fine. I'm tired at the end of the day but I work hard and I'm alive. Dating however is.. not possible. Trying to explain to anyone why I'm living in a tiny bachelor apartment and working as a housekeeper is difficult. If you met me you'd understand. I'm bright, attractive (in an old bag kinda way) lol.. and vibrant. I'm optimistic and charming and outgoing and energetic! But alone.
I believe in the Law of Attraction and want more in my life than this way. Struggling, barely making it etc. I was asked what did I bring to the table and felt so inadequate that I went into shock. When I was young (when we were young), it was not a question that was ever asked. It was mostly about chemistry, what we would do for fun, how we would get along. Now it's all about what we have. I understand it from a man's point of view. I don't want to be someone's burden. But I am in this situation in part because I, a woman, took on the role of primary care giver to my children. I sacrificed my career so that I could raise my children, thinking that my marriage would survive and that I was part of a team. It didn't work out and so I have "nothing" to bring to the table.
Although... I am an excellent housekeeper!!! I enjoy it. I am also a massage therapist (but not RMT) and have a healing touch (with both Reiki and Therapeutic Touch). I am a nurturing woman. I am colourful as hell but most men will never find out because my lack of stuff and my health history (note the word history) is daunting.
A few weeks ago I volunteered as a stage manager at a music week. I have a son who is a rockstar and another who has a band and is an actor and works in film and tv. I have an incredible, gifted daughter and amazing siblings. I am so fortunate in so many ways. I even have a cat that keeps me warm and makes me laugh.
I do not have a lover (oh yes, I know I could..) because I want more. If I am daunting because of my stuff or lack of it.. then carry on. I will just date myself.