katieee wrote: I have been in female led/bdsm relationships for most of my life. I have been part of the scene lifestyle but also held private loving relationships.

I adore submissive men however what is difficult is finding that rare breed of submissive male who yearns to submit to his Mistress but to all intents and purposes is an alpha confident male to friends and family.

Do you think the same traits can exist in the same person? 


HI Katiee - I am new to the site and just saw your post.

Within my FLR with my wife I am submissive and a cross dresser. But in the real world I am an alpha male - like football, I am ( nicely) aggressive - let's say competitive - and to all intents and purposes others would see me as 'bloke'.

But to women - and especially my wife - I am submissive. So yes - the traits you are seeking can exist in the same person. I am living proof. 
I read this post with interest and concerns..

Is a relationship not equal ? why do either partner feel they have to be submissive to the person they love .. Of course a man can do the cooking and cleaning as a woman can get the tools out and put up a shelf .. that is not being submissive, its having other skills to bring in to the relationship, neither feeling they have to be submissive to their partner. I looked up the word submissive and this is what came up ..

passive, obedient, biddable, dutiful, duteous, docile, ductile, pliant, meek, timid, mild, patient, resigned, forbearing, subdued, humble, self-effacing, spiritless, deferential, obsequious, servile, slavish, self-abasing, spineless, grovelling, lamblike, supine ... I felt it sad that someone in a loving relationship would put someone they love in this situation of feeling oppressed and possibly a feeling of having no self worth ... I understand each to their own but makes me question the true love of a relationship if one wants to feel submissive an the partner wants them too ... apologies .. i am not offending anyone, just trying to understand a relationship of this kind .. perhaps I am ignorant .. here to learn
My other concern would be .. the children

Are they to witness a submissive relationship ? putting it on a par with perhaps bullying in the school they attend .. as parents should we not be showing our children we are all equals and no one dominates a relationship whether it be personal or learning life skills ... for a child to come home in to a submissive relationship .. is that a good thing ? children need to be taught a relationship is based on love and equality , not being submissive ... submissive is not good for a child to experience .. they are learning, they have there own thoughts and fears growing up .. they need support, love and guidance ... not to come home an see someone they love being submissive ... just learning here ....
Hi katieee,
I just joined the site today and saw your post. Yes, it is possible for a man to be a Vanilla alpha male in public,yet submissive to his Mistress in private. My relationship with an extremely successful doctor/entrepreneur is proof. I feel it's this very control they have in vanilla life that leads them to a life of submission in private as a need to let go and let someone else take control in private.
What do you think?
I think what a couple does in the bedroom is their business and if they choose to do some role reversal to spice things up then more power to them..I have friends that are heavy into BDSM where the male is generally the dominant "owner" and the wife is the submissive "property" but about once a month they trade places and the male plays the submissive role. It works for them and they have enjoyed that lifestyle for years...
katieee wrote: I have been in female led/bdsm relationships for most of my life. I have been part of the scene lifestyle but also held private loving relationships.

I adore submissive men however what is difficult is finding that rare breed of submissive male who yearns to submit to his Mistress but to all intents and purposes is an alpha confident male to friends and family.

Do you think the same traits can exist in the same person? 


Absolutely. The true submissive is submissive on command, and in most relationships, that's not something you do in public - or among your family. Submission is always a choice, not a permanent condition.
Hello Katiee,
I would welcome the FLR that would allow me keep my professional and neighborly reputation with the status quo. But then explore that submissive side at home with my Queen, ruler of our roost. I never wanted to become some mistresses doormat or paycheck. But like you said, it's so hard to find. You wouldn't happen to live in So. Nevada?

Terry



="Maidkatie4u"]
katieee wrote: I have been in female led/bdsm relationships for most of my life. I have been part of the scene lifestyle but also held private loving relationships.

I adore submissive men however what is difficult is finding that rare breed of submissive male who yearns to submit to his Mistress but to all intents and purposes is an alpha confident male to friends and family.

Do you think the same traits can exist in the same person? 


HI Katiee - I am new to the site and just saw your post.

Within my FLR with my wife I am submissive and a cross dresser. But in the real world I am an alpha male - like football, I am ( nicely) aggressive - let's say competitive - and to all intents and purposes others would see me as 'bloke'.

But to women - and especially my wife - I am submissive. So yes - the traits you are seeking can exist in the same person. I am living proof. [/quote]
A man can be submissive to his Lady-Mistress in private and be a Vanilla Alpha Male in public. Both traits can exist in the same person.