wenythpaltrow ran out of the room, calling out for her parents. Her screams summoned Bradpitt and Wandasyke to the hallway outside her bedroom.
“Mater, Fodder! I have seen it! Tis the hue of blue! Now, mine eyes mayest be pluckethed from their sockets for they shalt nay again fall upon such a sight for thee first time!”
“Thy must keep it down, my dotter,” Bradpitt said, “Tis the middle of the eventide. Twas a dream, only.” He caressed her cheeks soothingly.
“Thy face is on fire, Gwenythpaltrow.” Bradpitt turned to Commander Zipschitz.
“What say ye? My dotter is aflutter!” The warrior glanced down at the commander's feet. His mouth dropped open.
“Is...that...a...Blue Sock?” he stammered.
“Yep, unfortunately,” Zipschitz responded.
“Ye is the master of all the land! The wizard did spake the truth.”
Bradpitt, Gwenythpaltrow and Wandasyke bowed to the master of the Wimpy.
The elder woman summoned a servant.
“Quick, get my adopted brodder, Prince Jackblack! We have found the Blue Sock and it doth attire the commander's left foot! Long live the commander!”
“Long live the commander!” the other two chanted.
“We must ring the bell and alert the people to our new master, Commander Zipschitz!” Bradpitt exclaimed. He ran into his bedroom and grabbed a tunic. He threw it to Zipschitz.
“You'll need this,” he said. “Come, let us go!” Gwenythpaltrow wrapped herself in a watermelon rind she had hanging in her closet.
They marched to the field where Zipschitz had landed. His capsule was still there. The commander studied the night sky. Argyle had been replaced by a dark herringbone. The three suns were gone. Yet, there was a bright pulsating light.
“Look ye! Look ye! Tis the Wimpy, methinks!” Gwenythpaltrow cried.
“What a beautiful sight! My ship has returned!” the commander said as tears fell from his eyes.
Amidst the field of yellow plants appeared a man in pink lace hastening his steed with a whip. The rider stopped short to where the foursome stood. Bradpitt laughed heartily.
“Ha! Tis Prince Jackblack. Meet Lord Commander Blip Zipschitz, master of all the land. Harken to his feet – he doth wear a Blue Sock!” Bradpitt said.
“So that is the great color blue. What a disappointment. Tis just purple nay the red.”
“Nay, Jackblack, I see thee salivating. Ye is mesmerized!” Bradpitt said.
The horseman flew off his steed and onto Zipschitz, forcing them both to the ground. The prince slammed a fist into the commander's face. A warm liquid seeped from Zipschitz's mouth. Jackblack dragged him into a nest of ants so they could lap up his blood. The commander then grabbed Jack black’s arms and flipped him over his head. He took hold of the evil prince's neck and pressed his thumb on the royal throat. Gagging, Jackblack shoved his tongue out and it wriggled about like a dying fish. The commander's cool countenance changed into a vengeful viper as he applied even greater pressure. Wandasyke leaped onto Zipschitz's back, impaling her tooth into the commander's shoulder.
“Stop! He is one of ye!” she cried. “Many times ago, a wee baby dropeth from the heavens into a field of trampolines. Twas Jackblack, my adopted brodder!”
Zipschitz stopped and peered into the prince's eyes.
“Is that so? Are you from the spaceship Swagger, that was lost so long ago?” Zipschitz asked as he drew the spiral on his chest, in remembrance of the lost souls.
Before the prince could answer, the altercation was interrupted by the twang of a capsule landing. Out stepped First Officer Cora Fogfart from the spacecraft Wimpy.
“Commander Zipschitz,” she said, saluting him. “I hope all is well.”
He bolted up and marched over to the first officer.
“It is against Intergalactic Rules to abandon a commander! Did you know that?” he screamed into her face.
“Sir, yes sir! But it was a spaceship malfunction. We have always been stationed where you left us, but the invisibility shield erroneously went on, sir. We only just fixed the problem.”
“You are so full of ...” The commander began to say, but not wanting to offend Bradpitt finished his rebuke with “...hogwash!”
Zipschitz paced in front of Fogfart, his breathing was like the growl of a Kaboshian canary.
“May I say something, Commander?” the first officer asked as she stood rigidly at attention.
“Speak!” he spat.
“The engineer said the malfunction was caused by an erroneous algorithm keyed in before you left, sir.”
The commander rubbed his stubbly chin. The field's morning odor was like armpit sweat doused in honey. He pressed his nostrils together as he considered the ramifications. Earlier, he had input algorithms. Could he have made a mistake? Would he be demoted from chartreuse chemise to yellow tank top?
“I must go back to the Wimpy, now,” he said.
“What about me?” cried Prince Jackblack. “I am a poor survivor of thy spacecraft Swagger and ye almost killed me.” He hacked a cough and rubbed the part of his neck where the commander's thumb had pressed. “An infant I was, in swaddling, catapulted into space! Ye owe me big time, commander.”
“I owe you nothing,” Zipschitz said.
“Give unto me thy Blue Sock and we wilst call it even.”
Zipschitz looked down, the sock was gone, it had been lost in the scuffle.
“No Blue Sock, Prince. Sorry.”
“Tis gone? No!” Bradpitt sobbed. “Ye would have made a great master of all the land, commander.” He crossed into the field to where they had fought.
“I will find it!” His voice ignited an acre of golden stalks.
“Since tis no Blue Sock, I wish to be reunited with the planet of my birth.” Jackblack said.
Zipschitz shook his head as his eyes searched the ground around him for the navy stocking.
“We don't want you back, Jackblack,” the commander said.
“Excuse me Commander Zipschitz, but Article 41 of the Intergalactic Laws, require that any spaceship under its jurisdiction must rescue members of the Swagger if ever found,” First Officer Cora Fogfart said, .
“Whose side are you on? That man, there, attacked me,” Zipschitz said pointing to evil Prince Jackblack. “And why, First Officer, do you divert your glances when speaking to me?”
“Your tunic is too short, sir,” she answered.
“Oh.”
Gwenythpaltrow ran to the commander's side and wrapped her arm around his.
“Tis true. The evil prince charged at him. I saw it all with mine eyes,” she said. Jackblack sneered at her as she turned her nose up at him.
“May I suggest, Commander, that we lock the prince up on board the Wimpy's brig?” the first officer asked.
“Summon the Captured Convict Capsule,” he ordered. In a flash, the pod zoomed to his side.
“Secure him, Fogfart!”
The first officer grabbed JackBlack's arm. A microchip implant imbued her with the capability of ten choreographers. The evil prince struggled, but she easily performed a battement tendu and shoved him in the capsule. He smiled.
“I don't want to look bloated on the Wimpy,” Jackblack said as he popped a small brown ball in his mouth.
“Fine work, first officer,” Zipschitz said. He turned to Gwenythpaltrow.
“I must go back to my spacecraft, now.”
No, no commander, I hath something to tell ye,” she whispered. The commander cupped Gwenythpaltrow's face in his hands and lifted her lips to his.
“I'd rather kiss your lips than eat plankton,” he murmured and pressed his mouth to hers.
“Oh, commander...I meanst Blip...”
Fogfart stepped next to the commander.
“I am sorry sir, but we must go.”
“Yes, yes, of course,” he clasped Gwenythpaltrow's hand in his hands and slowly let go as he walked backwards to the capsule.
“Fare thee well,” the commander said.
“See you,” she responded.
And then Commander Zipschitz, First Officer Fogfart, and evil Prince Jackblack were gone.