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[REMwoman]

I made a mistake a few years ago of dating someone who said they were separated. he told me that he was living with his son and all sorts of other stuff. We ended up in a serious relationship and we talked about a future together. However, quite by accident, he dropped his satnav one day and I picked it up and noticed his last destination was an address which was completely alien. When I did a bit of detective work, I found he was cheating on me but, when I dug a bit further, the worst scenario I could have ever envisaged materialised. It turned out that, not only was he still married, his son and other children did not speak to him becasue of teh way he had treated his FOUR other wives (who had all divorced him) and his poor wife was living her life believing she still very much had a husband and they were very much together, living and loving their family and grandchildren. With teh benefit of hindsight so much dropped into place and I was so badly hurt and left feeling really stupid that I had believed him and everything he had alluded to. So, I will be very wary of dating anyone in future who says they are separated without having first checked their landline number, that they do live where they say they do and their circumstances. I too am "separated" currently and consider myself single at the moment but I am not looking to get into a relationship; I just need to rebuild my confidence and have some fun. Please learn the lessons I did before you believe "separated" to mean just that. x

This is the nutshell version of why you need to really get to know *anyone* that you are dating, whether you meet them online or in real life. A liar is *trying* to deceive you, and they can have lots more practice at lying than you have with smoking out a liar.

[sliver]

l would say forget about relationships for the time being besides the fact you have been in a marriage that you have wanted to get out of why would you want to hop into another relationship so soon.take the time to get to know yourself again rediscover who you are and what you want and need.You are probably a different person than the one who got married years ago.A lot of people just feel lonely for a time after they split up.this is the best time to better yourself, get involved in local clubs, erobics, swimming etc.l have just gone back to college myself after splitting up from my ex and just waiting for word of exceptance for a 2 year counselling course.lt may be the last chance you have of thinking of just you, putting yourself first.

[canscot13]

I am also only separated and not divorced yet.  I was married less than two years to an American who has since returned to his homeland never to return by invite or otherwise to Canada at least not by myself.  
I also consider myself single again as all ties have been broken and it is only the legal tie that is still pending because of the 12 month no fault limitation.  
There is no baggage, no outstanding issues other that the one mentioned previously so therefore why would I be considered married and not free to meet new friends...  I am not in a hurry to marry anyone again without knowing them well beforehand, but does that mean I am in the "do not approach list" until the law says I am free to date again? 
Come on people we live in the 21st century let's get on with life.. at our age we should just enjoy the time we have left and if we want to share it with someone what is the harm... we can both say "no" if it does not suit...