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[Guest]

Is there anyone has tired as I am on getting emails from people that are just there to reach out to a person for no other reason than just send long and loving emails and nothing ever amounts to anything. They always seem to write about how they work all over the world and lost their partner in a car accident or whatever they come up with. They live in one place and work all over and I even had a few asking for money to get their stock from that country customs. I don't know if it is only me but I seem to be the target for most of them. Probably all the same one different picture and name but all along the same lines. Anyone have any information you wish to exchange please do compare and see what can be done to atleast deal with some of this. I am at a point of closing my internet down at this point.

[Guest]

Hello Northern,
Sounds like your first aggravation is your email program. You need to tweek up the "spam" filter. I find both my Yahoo and Gmail have great filters to keep out those idiot requests to "move money, get larger, pleasure him/her" etc etc.

I agree with you regarding the communication level... still, we try and this is a good thing! The other details you speak of are people who may be hurting and looking for someone to listen. Let's face it, you will need to learn of each other if you are going to build a base for friendship or more. We are not all on the same level of self-growth. If the friendship is too much for you, be good enough to terminate it maturely. (Some don't deserve your gentleness, but don't stoop to negative levels!) Create an email address just for your incoming "personals" people so they are easy to control, block or terminate. Most of all, don't give out your address unless you are comfortable!

[Guest]

When you come right down to it... communication can be a tough road for most, especially in black and white. Consider that we come here to meet, discover and have fun yet if the communication falters all efforts can end up in disaster. We sometimes struggle to get an idea across in print (conversation) when there is lack of body language and voice inflection shared. My thought is this... it seems to be the "intention" that determines whether the speaker is playing games (love, spam, con). I try to be "me" and also allow others to be themselves... wait as the story unfolds... and discover their intentions slowly. Very true, there is a fine line when we are simply enjoying chat and social interaction the other does not always hear what we intend... often what they need to hear. Consider each interaction as a learning-growth situation (truly for both); enjoy, be safe & kind, have fun and possibly make a lifelong friend or lover. Aspire to inspire before you expire! ^j^

[akakakes]

I had so hopped at our age, mind and emotional games would no longer be an issue. I was so wrong. lol.. but I refuse to play...[/i]

[Robbyb]

Good game, Good game lol. The very reasons you are here may well be the determining factor in whether the games are to be played
If you are here looking for that special someone then you have already voluntarily entered in to one game,.The game of chance! Assuming I have given my consent to participate in this game then there has to be rules
As long as the rules are exactly the same for all what harm does it do
Posts on here would indicate its the guys lolol (geroutofit) who are singularily playing the game, as if ?
I wish my teacher in mind games was a lady, they are experts at it, they make the guys look like absolute novices. Some sites you have a woman describing herself in her profile as a 57 year old retired lady and then you look at her pic and she is an 18 years old Marilyn Monroe . Is it part of a game? Do you take the Pic at face value cos you know that a person presenting a pic is going to want to show her/hiself in the best possible light ?
Come on you know you have cherry picked that photo and if I look like a 20 year old Richard Gere then so much the better lolol
But no, What is more than likely to attract what it is you seek is the contents of your mind transposed on to these boards.So you have already consented to a mind game of sorts
Your nice, you'll get nice and with that in mind let the games commence lololol One rule to suit all.

[bandana]

What are defined as mind games are usually .....the social norms of the day..the gven accepted truth and lies of men and women in the dating or " friends " arena..........

a lady never tells and a man has to lie..........is where it usually begins.

[Guest]

Greetings all.

The internet dating game is so difficult as I am sure most of you know.

The excitement of meeting someone who is interested in you is blown out of proportion at first. And if it continues, a seemingly deep relationship develops.

It's too easy for someone to be exactly what the other person needs.

After all... they read what you are looking for before they even chat.

I don't believe it's wrong to put a person's feelings to the test, over and over again.

After all, this all about becomming a member of a person's life.

Not to take over it, change it, or suppress it.

But to appreciate the beauty in all that we meet.

But. still..

It's very emotionally dangerous.

Be safe..

And take care

[bignev]

I've been a member for about a week and I haven't even had the chance to play any sort of game. Any offers? Seriously, what's it all about, I would love to meet some attractive person, and by all means let's play some games. A sense of humour is very important and if it leads anywhere, then fine! OK?

[LindaOptimistic]

I think mind games are part of the getting to know a person. It seems that some people don't realise they are playing mind games. If your new to chatting on line you talk to strangers like your long lost friends to find out later that actually they are not really the same mind set as you in the real world you would back off gently but on line it's so easy to just stop communicating making someone wonder what they did wrong. They probably did nothing wrong. My rule of thumb is get to know someone slowly like you would if you met sitting next to each other on the bus. Don't expect too much and you will be pleasantly surprised.
I started talking to someone on line 4 years ago we met and have kept in contact ever since. We meet up every few weeks and laugh at the world and if we are still in contact when we are 90 we think we might get married lol

[bignev]

Tut, tut Becca. Is that the way a lady talks these days.

[JaeBro57]

To Northern
I read your blog about scammers, and would like to offer this.
I have spent a little time in dating sites, and no matter what I said in my profile about young women not to bother, they still left emails, want to chat when your online.
It appears the people with internet access outside the us want desperately to get here.
They all start out with that same line you mentioned, were their father was from the states, and died over there, and left them.
They don't have any children, don't have a picture posted, and want to take you off the dating site and send you picutres of them, if you give them your email address.
So you learn to play the game back with them. lol
I've asked where they live in the city or state they say there from here.
When are they come to visit here in the US to send an email when there going to arrive, I'll see about meeting them if my time permits. Have no money to send, but see ya when you get here.
As for getting married and treating me like a king because I'm the love of there life, that can't happen after 1 meeting on the internet. lol
When the profile reads from age 25 to 99 watchout that's a give away right there. lol
Not interested in meeting any woman thats younger or the same age that of my grown children, and I'm through raising children, which is all that's going to happen if you fall into that with them.
There either going to divorce you, or run off and leave you to raise the kids by yourself.
When you see those age numbers that are older then you are, you can always say, "well honey by what your looking for I'm not quite old enough for you". lol
What can you at 23 do for a man who's 99, Anna Nicole Smith wanna be's.
These young people think sex is the answer, that going to get us older folks to see things their way, not going to happen here.
Just play the game back, as you move on, too many questions they will leave you alone quickly.

[EastCoastGrl]

Hi. I've been trying to find out why some relationships work and others don't. One observation is that of those that work, many are very accepting of their partner, not overly critical, not trying to change aspects of their personality or character. As another blogger wrote, it's about acceptance, not compromise. Of those that don't work, I've seen some couples who don't seem to speak the same language. I think that if you asked them to define words like husband, wife, partner, sharing, love, commitment, intimacy, they would each give different explanations. That explains the big issue in a lot of relationships. Someone might perceive a man as a grump, pushy and opinionated, not very nice. He thinks of himself as a hard worker, organized, a good leader/boss, who has the ability to assess or evaluate people and situations quickly, a good person and nice. They are both right and a question of definition.

This same idea can contribute to the "game". Some people will write or say the truth as they know it and another person may disagree with that. In some cases it may be a question of degree, but others are deliberately and purposefully wrong, meant to mislead. One example is weight. How does one describe a few extra pounds, what word defines that body type? That depends who is answering.

Maybe the better way to weed out the players is to ask more questions, ask for more clarification on the answers, take nothing for granted and assume nothing.
J

[Guest]

Im not looking 4 a partner but just a wee note here its just nice 2 b nice no matter what your after.

[lulu1107]

What many may perceive as games may simply be a person trying to take a step back to try to sort out their feelings, or fears. Often we get a little enthusiastic in our online conversations and the other person might not want things to go so quickly...hence the "game" of hot and cold emails. The opposite can also be true. Someone who has been just keeping things low key and friendly could all of the sudden try to heat things up with a little bold speech. Years ago I learned in Sociology 101 that we all wear different personas, with the same basic core self...depending on who we are with at the time...I would add: "and what is happening".