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[southchurch]

Hi. My name is Anthony. I joined this site thinking it was an open forum for grown ups but found it's really just another dating site. Ok so no problem; I filled in the profile stuff and here I am.
The reason I'm here though concerns an internet post I stumbled across while doing a google search. Curiously it was posted on a Times website called More Sex Daily which purports to deal with relationship issues us mature guys have. Anyway...the post was from a lady of 60, divorced for many years, who had struggled to raise her son alone and now, after redundancy, was facing a lonely and impoverished future living alone on a small pension. Her son is supportive but she feels he regards her as a duty to be done. Right or wrong I empathise with her sentiments. My own situation is quite similar. I wonder just how many older singles feel like this....apparently 52% of over 50's are single. Many are coping on low incomes with little prospect of new employment beyond the age of 50. You may get a few hours on the supermarket checkout or sweeping the floor in B & Q but that's about it. So what's my point?
In the USA it's becoming increasingly popular for older singles to live in supportive communities. I don't mean commercial homes and I don't mean hippy communes. I'm talking about collaborative living. Maybe sharing housing and living costs. Many older people are finding that their lives are enhanced both economically and socially by such arrangements. Ok it's not a very British thing is it? We cling to an illusion of independence to the bitter end regardless of the consequences. My parents are doing this right now and it's very sad.
I'm not looking for argument or debate. This is simply a thought that may resonate with someone.
Anthony

[samac7]

Hi Anthony    I'm afraid I am finding exactly what you are speaking of in my own experience here in Canada.  At 58 I'm not exactly having employers beat down my door wanting to hire me.   Even after going back to school, no one is willing to take a chance , and being at least 7 years from a pension,, yes times are tough for sure.   Not sure what the answer is, I'm not looking for a "career" , just a means to an end really,  if you find any answers please feel free to share  lol,,, and welcome to 50splus ,  lots of nice people to talk to, from near and far   Maybe see you in chat sometime.

[Graham1]

Hi. My name is Anthony. I joined this site thinking it was an open forum for grown ups but found it's really just another dating site. Ok so no problem; I filled in the profile stuff and here I am.
The reason I'm here though concerns an internet post I stumbled across while doing a google search. Curiously it was posted on a Times website called More Sex Daily which purports to deal with relationship issues us mature guys have. Anyway...the post was from a lady of 60, divorced for many years, who had struggled to raise her son alone and now, after redundancy, was facing a lonely and impoverished future living alone on a small pension. Her son is supportive but she feels he regards her as a duty to be done. Right or wrong I empathise with her sentiments. My own situation is quite similar. I wonder just how many older singles feel like this....apparently 52% of over 50's are single. Many are coping on low incomes with little prospect of new employment beyond the age of 50. You may get a few hours on the supermarket checkout or sweeping the floor in B & Q but that's about it. So what's my point?
In the USA it's becoming increasingly popular for older singles to live in supportive communities. I don't mean commercial homes and I don't mean hippy communes. I'm talking about collaborative living. Maybe sharing housing and living costs. Many older people are finding that their lives are enhanced both economically and socially by such arrangements. Ok it's not a very British thing is it? We cling to an illusion of independence to the bitter end regardless of the consequences. My parents are doing this right now and it's very sad.
I'm not looking for argument or debate. This is simply a thought that may resonate with someone.
Anthony

Hi Anthony and welcome. This is not just another dating site as many of our members seek friends to communicate with. For that reason, when you complete your profile you can select whether you look for friendship or a relationship. Some look for friendship with a hope that they can find a partner and in this case they select friendship or relationship.

[southchurch]

Indeed. I'm duly chastised.
Anthony

[scrummy]

Anthony, As long as you didnt take pleasure out of the chastisement,
Its Cool, (only joking, trying to be friendly) ,
Welcome to the club.
Best Wishes. 

[southchurch]

I think that might be another thread, don't you Scrummy?
Anthony

[bambi6]

Hi Anthony I found your post very interesting As a retired senior and also a widow  its tough out here living on a day to day existense Thats a bit extreme of course LOL. I am still in perfect health but find no one really wants to hire a 66 year old woman that really is looking for money for entertainment . So then I found this cute little club the 50's to be exact what a great place to have some laughs with really nice people .And I for one think it is the best friendship club on the net Cheers 

[derdra]

living alone does take some getting used to in my case being widowed all the friends that we had as a couple have all dissapeared..even my late husbands relatives havent bothered to keep in touch...the hardest thing im finding is to find some sort of social life outside these four walls and it isnt easy...im not interested in a relationship all i want is freindship someone i can call on or even meet up for a coffee....

[Dria2000]

The comments Anthony made regarding co-operative living are very interesting. Yes, I want my independence, but fully aware that retirement when it comes will bring with it a drastic drop in income and a very big change in circumstances. I think the idea of shared housing is something many people are afraid of, we are so used to being on our own, and social restrictions tend to tell us that this is a new, untried experiment. Retirement communities in my area tend to be very expensive and geared to the couple with huge retirement savings and a very extravagant lifestyle.

By combining with other like minded individuals, whether it be a country acreage, an urban house or retrofitting a lodge or holiday motel as a co-op, it would give everyone involved a greater chance of continuing to enjoy the lifestyle they want. There would naturally be legalities, agreements and personalities to consider, but, I think it is a valid option.

Comments?

[starkitkat]

The comments Anthony made regarding co-operative living are very interesting. Yes, I want my independence, but fully aware that retirement when it comes will bring with it a drastic drop in income and a very big change in circumstances. I think the idea of shared housing is something many people are afraid of, we are so used to being on our own, and social restrictions tend to tell us that this is a new, untried experiment. Retirement communities in my area tend to be very expensive and geared to the couple with huge retirement savings and a very extravagant lifestyle.

By combining with other like minded individuals, whether it be a country acreage, an urban house or retrofitting a lodge or holiday motel as a co-op, it would give everyone involved a greater chance of continuing to enjoy the lifestyle they want. There would naturally be legalities, agreements and personalities to consider, but, I think it is a valid option.

Comments?

Not only that, we are living in a change enviroment, BUT are we safe living alone? Shall we find someone to have a "Shared living" so that there is someone with us for protection? Shall we get a dog for protection? This is a hard decisions to make as we don't know what we want or what we are comfortable with once we are retired. Some retire and sell and live by travelling, so the living (rent or own) expense is put toward travelling expense. So I guess if you make a list "pro and cons" and see what you really want out of life when retired?

There was a murder here in my city yesterday, the police are questioning people close to where I live, so I am thankful I don't live alone, the dogs here would make enough racket to scare anyone away.

[anonamisme]

Hi everyone i recently lost my wife of 30 years of marriage and i am looking at my income and i can stay where i am but it will be very hard in the winter months to make ends meet, [electric heat] having said that i have posted on difrent sites that i am looking for somone to share my apartment in a 2 bedroom apartment.i dont mind telling you that it worries me a bit to have a stranger move in that i dont know anything about [and i am male] but needs must i love this place it is my home and i cant imagine moving, i think as more and more people come into retirement this sort of thing will become normal.

[busybody]

Hi everyone i recently lost my wife of 30 years of marriage and i am looking at my income and i can stay where i am but it will be very hard in the winter months to make ends meet, [electric heat] having said that i have posted on difrent sites that i am looking for somone to share my apartment in a 2 bedroom apartment.i dont mind telling you that it worries me a bit to have a stranger move in that i dont know anything about [and i am male] but needs must i love this place it is my home and i cant imagine moving, i think as more and more people come into retirement this sort of thing will become normal.

First time posting anything...what on earth is a BBCode?

I personally adore living alone. Nothing like shutting that door and igoring the phone. I do share a house but have completely separate living space and entrance. I also have had roommates (one who's still a great friend, others not compatible and didn't last) You may have to reject a few, but eventually you will find a compatible person. Take your time and be selective. Check lifestyle and personal references). Get a signed agreement for a trial period and don't be afraid to tell them if it's not working. Don't just think about it...do it. One more thing...invest in some good locks for your treasure chest until you're sure.

[mellowman27]

I enjoy living alone and can afford it but I have a lot of time alone. I enjoy people's sense of humour, talents, and the social intercourse. The idea of multiple independant dwellings in a compound is very attractive. No commitments but social interaction available. Snooker, darts, kaiser tournaments, guitar sing songs, campfires, fishing excursions, ping pong, etc etc need two or more usually. as well!