. : Forums

[Graham1]

Hello all. I have read your stories with interest and really feel for those of you who have had bad experiences meeting people online.
I recently started working for this club after being a member for over 2 years and have heard lots of stories from lots of different members. I was not looking for a relationship; just friends but I have come up with what I feel is a sensible approach to online friendships or relationships.
This club is strictly monitored to protect members from unwanted attentions and potential scammers who occasionally infiltrate the site, but it is up to each and every member to protect themselves also by not being too trusting of others until you can be sure of their honesty and integrity. That includes not giving out any personal contact details too easily. We have measures to protect members within the site but as soon as you give out personal contact details, you are more exposed to possible predators and scammers. There are a lot more out there than many people care to think!
I believe that those looking for a new relationship can be at risk especially if they are trying too hard and might be more likely to trust others too soon. Lonely people can find the attentions and flattery of others very appealing.
My advice is to be yourselves, be honest with a positive attitude and look for friends who you can talk to and trust, and if a relationship develops from a friendship then its a bonus! If nothing else at least you have made a friend. Some do find good partners online but there are a lot more who have been let down and hurt by their experiences. I also believe that if you learn to like yourself and accept how you are, you will be more likely to be liked by others.
I will add that I am always willing to help anyone with any problems, unwanted attentions or any other issues in the club as it is part of my role here to try and make the club a friendly and welcoming community for everyone.
You can message me anytime or if you mail the club I can answer you from there too. I will treat any messages with respect and confidentiality.
Good luck to you all in finding what you are looking for!
Warm wishes,
Graham

[anume57]

I am fairly new to this site. I do like the friendship aspects of it. I would also be very cautious about meeting someone in person that I communicate with online. Not saying it won't ever happen - but I would have to get to know and sense a lot about that person through communications first. Even then, I would remain on guard and cautious.

I agree be careful! but enjoy the chance of new friends and new love!

[anume57]

Hello all. I have read your stories with interest and really feel for those of you who have had bad experiences meeting people online.
I recently started working for this club after being a member for over 2 years and have heard lots of stories from lots of different members. I was not looking for a relationship; just friends but I have come up with what I feel is a sensible approach to online friendships or relationships.
This club is strictly monitored to protect members from unwanted attentions and potential scammers who occasionally infiltrate the site, but it is up to each and every member to protect themselves also by not being too trusting of others until you can be sure of their honesty and integrity. That includes not giving out any personal contact details too easily. We have measures to protect members within the site but as soon as you give out personal contact details, you are more exposed to possible predators and scammers. There are a lot more out there than many people care to think!
I believe that those looking for a new relationship can be at risk especially if they are trying too hard and might be more likely to trust others too soon. Lonely people can find the attentions and flattery of others very appealing.
My advice is to be yourselves, be honest with a positive attirtude and look for friends who you can talk to and trust, and if a relationship develops from a friendship then its a bonus! If nothing else at least you have made a friend. Some do find good partners online but there are a lot more who have been let down and hurt by their experiences. I also believe that if you learn to like yourself and accept how you are, you will be more likely to be liked by others.
I will add that I am always willing to help anyone with any problems, unwanted attentions or any other issues in the club as it is part of my role here to try and make the club a friendly and welcoming community for everyone.
You can message me anytime or if you mail the club I can answer you from there too. I will treat any messages with respect and confidentiality.
Good luck to you all in finding what you are looking for!
Warm wishes,
Graham

Hi Graham, I was contacted by con men on other sites using a false picture story and then asked for a lot of money. Still, here I am trying again it's worth it to connect ,thanks for your letter this morning because of it I made out a profile and became a member. Take a look. Warm regards J

[Graham1]

Hi anume and welcome on board!
I hope you enjoy it here and find some new friends! I have!
If you like quizzes, I hold one every Sunday at 9 pmUK time in the English chat room. There are usually a few regulars there then and its a bit of fun, nothing too serious!
Hope to see you sometime!
Graham

[ladylike02]

Internet dating...not the best way to find a committed relationship, that is speaking purely from my own experience. You do hear of people actually marrying people they have met on internet sites, but I think this is rare. Long-distance relationships for the most part do not work. Trust can become such a huge issue and the travel is sometimes difficult. I love the chat room where I get to chat with friends and it feels so comfortable and it really helps with the lonliness. This site to me is a way of making friends with some great people without the bad experiences.

[Bilboswild]

I met someone via another chat site, and we messaged, emailed and chatted via yahoo and even cam'd and thought we had got to know each other pretty well, and you have to trust that both parties are being completely honest with one another, especially if it is a long distance relationship. In my case the person lived and worked in Hong Kong and a trip was arranged.

I knew that if it didn't work out, then Hong Kong was a city that I had always wanted to see and visit, and I would just have a great holiday, but secretly I hoped that I had found myself a new partner, and even my ex said to go for it, as we remain good friends. She arranged to obviously have the time off from work as well, and I asked her about particular tourist attractions that I would liked to see whilst there, and also whether there was anything that she had also wanted to see or do and share with me.

But it went wrong from the first meeting, as she didn't know how to get to the hotel even though she had booked it on my behalf, and just went down hill from there. If I asked a question she answered with a question, even simple things like, would you like a drink, and she would reply would I like one, seems simple but after a time it began to wear thin. When we went out to go anywhere she always had a long face, and then found out she hated going out and just preferred to stay in and watch tv or a movie.

So we parted company after 3 days, and I enjoyed the rest of my time sight seeing in HK by myself. Has it put me off internet chatting and dating, no not in the least. I have made a few really good friends from it, and if the right person came along, then would take the chance once more. But also beware, as there are many, many scammers out there looking to con both male and females into losing cash and using them for their own needs to get out of or into another country.

So my advice would be, go for it, but let the dater beware, and don't always believe what is in the message.

[ontariogirl1960]

My take on Internet dating is that this is just an introduction and you should meet the person as soon as possible to see if there is any connection at all. Once you meet them then you decide if you want to go on a date or not. My particular situation is that I live in the middle of no where so there are no single men out in my area. I have tried to meet people but no one wants a long distance relationship including me. I have decided to sell my house and move to the city because i am tired of being on my own. I mean running this place on my own, the bills, the maintainance it is all getting to be too much. Once in the city I will be able to join clubs and such and then I wont be so lonely any more. I love the country but it is lonely and everything is so far away. I hope to find a partner but it takes patience and time especially at our age. Relocation is also a big issue for those who still have to work, they can't leave thier job or thier kids in that area, so it seems long distance relationships which is mostly what you find on the internet are very hard to navigate as well. I know people have done it but there is a lot to consider.

[Graham1]

║ If you find yourself in love with someone who does not
║ love you, be gentle with yourself. There is nothing
║ wrong with you. Love just didn't’t choose to rest in the
║ other person’s heart...
║
║ If you find someone else in love with you and you don’t
║ love her/him, feel honoured that love came and called at
║ your door, but gently refuse the gift you cannot
║ return. Do not take advantage, do not cause pain...
║
║ How you deal with love is how you deal with you, and
║ all our hearts feel the same pains and joys, even if
║ our lives and ways are different...
║
║ If you fall in love with another, and she falls in love
║ with you, and then love chooses to leave, do not try to
║ reclaim it or to assess blame, Let it go. There is a
║ reason and there is a meaning. You will know in time...
║
║ Remember that you don’t choose love. Love chooses you.
║ All you can really do is accept it for all its mystery
║ when it comes into your life. Feel the way it fills you
║ to overflowing, then reach out and give it away.
║
║ Give it back to the person who brought it alive in you.
║ Give it to others who deem it poor in spirit.
║ Give it to the world around you in anyway you can...
║
║ This is where many lovers go wrong. Having been so long
║ without love, they understand love only as a need.
║ They see their hearts as empty places that will be
║ filled by love, and they begin to look at love as
║ something that flows to them rather than from them...
║
║ The first blush of new love is filled to overflowing,
║ but as their love cools, they revert to seeing their
║ love as need. They cease to be someone who generates
║ love and instead become someone who seeks love.
║ They forget that the secret of love is that it is a
║ gift, and that it can be made to grow only by giving it
║ away....
║
║ Remember this, and keep it to your heart. Love has its
║ own time, its own seasons, and its own reason for
║ coming and going. You cannot bribe it or coerce it, or
║ reason it into staying. You can only embrace it when it
║ arrives and give it away when it comes to you...
║
║ But if it chooses to leave from your heart or from the
║ heart of your lover, there is nothing you can do and
║ there is nothing you should do. Love always has been
║ and always will be a mystery...
║
║ Be glad that it came to live for a moment in your life.
║ Don’t deny love just only you don’t want to be hurt…

[gartag]

I keep checking here to see what people's answers are but there are never any I find the internet dating kind of daunting. I keep reminding myself not to hold up the wall but to actively check out peoples profiles. One of my biggest problems is that I can't remember if I checked out a profile so it looks like I keep revisiting the same ones. Also there are some I would like to go back to but now I don't want to seem wishy washy by being in their profile too often. (Dang, is the wall falling over, I better hold it up)

This is my first time on an Internet dating site and this is my first reply on a forum. I'm keeping a notebook where I write down the username of whoever sends me a message, crossed out if I don't think we're compatible, or with general notes from his profile if I'm interested in further communication. I also just opened 2 folders, possibilities and rejects, where I've started to transfer profiles accordingly, to provide me with a visual aid so that I feel I'm dealing with people on a more personal level. I don't know if I'm doing the right thing, or if this method would be suitable for everyone, but so far, it suits me.

[gartag]

Internet dating...not the best way to find a committed relationship, that is speaking purely from my own experience. You do hear of people actually marrying people they have met on internet sites, but I think this is rare. Long-distance relationships for the most part do not work. Trust can become such a huge issue and the travel is sometimes difficult. I love the chat room where I get to chat with friends and it feels so comfortable and it really helps with the lonliness. This site to me is a way of making friends with some great people without the bad experiences.

I have a different take on things. First of all, nothing ventured nothing gained. Second of all, this Internet dating site, along with one more I've chosen to attempt to enter in the near future, will hopefully lead to a successful and happy relationship which will entail my leaving Greece and returning to the country where I grew up. Relationships require compromise. You have to be willing to meet each other half way for a truly fulfilling relationship. And you learn not to repeat past mistakes by analysing them.

[sweetholly7]

I am here for friendship. As far as starting a relationship from this site...well, I am cautious...too many men want to start a harem here. I am a one man woman, and would be faithful, passionate and loving....I value inner beauty. I do not want to give my heart to a shallow man who flirts with every woman. A man would have to prove himself worthy of my trust before I would give away my heart to him.

You can find me in the English chat room, in the evenings...great friends there....

God's Blessings

Yes i agree there are a few men on this site that you would never be able to trust.

[beausoleil]

I met someone via another chat site, and we messaged, emailed and chatted via yahoo and even cam'd and thought we had got to know each other pretty well, and you have to trust that both parties are being completely honest with one another, especially if it is a long distance relationship. In my case the person lived and worked in Hong Kong and a trip was arranged.

I knew that if it didn't work out, then Hong Kong was a city that I had always wanted to see and visit, and I would just have a great holiday, but secretly I hoped that I had found myself a new partner, and even my ex said to go for it, as we remain good friends. She arranged to obviously have the time off from work as well, and I asked her about particular tourist attractions that I would liked to see whilst there, and also whether there was anything that she had also wanted to see or do and share with me.

But it went wrong from the first meeting, as she didn't know how to get to the hotel even though she had booked it on my behalf, and just went down hill from there. If I asked a question she answered with a question, even simple things like, would you like a drink, and she would reply would I like one, seems simple but after a time it began to wear thin. When we went out to go anywhere she always had a long face, and then found out she hated going out and just preferred to stay in and watch tv or a movie.

So we parted company after 3 days, and I enjoyed the rest of my time sight seeing in HK by myself. Has it put me off internet chatting and dating, no not in the least. I have made a few really good friends from it, and if the right person came along, then would take the chance once more. But also beware, as there are many, many scammers out there looking to con both male and females into losing cash and using them for their own needs to get out of or into another country.

So my advice would be, go for it, but let the dater beware, and don't always believe what is in the message.

Thanks for sharing your story.  I'm happy to hear things turned out ok and you still had fun by yourself...I did,as well, visited HK (not for the same reason lol) enjoyed it thoroughly.
I am glad to hear you are not giving up...good for you
Beausoleil 

[marsan]

Hi,

If anyone has been scammed --asked for money or to secure a visa or other stuff, there is a website where you can report this ...if you have been scammed and sent money which was never returned or threatened you can go to Romancescammers.org and they can really help....

Good luck....
not everyone on-line is a scammer though.....good luck with the search for true love.....

[winter2012]

hi there, good luck to everyone here and enjoy new friendships and making a great connection which i am, hoping for, it is very interesting i have read some amazing profiles i do strongly believe there is someone out there for everyone i do want to have that connection with that special someone and be my best friend and hopefully turn into much more.